I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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