Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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