I wannas sexs uuuuu
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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