what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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