Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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