my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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