it was like eating out sand paper
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
