the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
