Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize