I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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