Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was born a porn star she said
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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