Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
