Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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