Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
