wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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