member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
