Me too!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
