I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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