well you can't waste a boner
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you had me at cake vodka
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
