yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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