But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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