In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
