Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
