My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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