We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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