Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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