Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just had sex on a roof
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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