have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
