it was like eating out sand paper
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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