"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize