I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
