Hippo gnu deer
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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