is your mom at the bar?
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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