so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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