We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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