my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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