just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He did a backflip because drugs
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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