i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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