4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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