She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
