K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
