You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
