I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
