things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize