Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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