Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
