We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
