You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
