I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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