Dual....:-)
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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