Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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