i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dignity is for republicans.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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