I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
