I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
