do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
