Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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