I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
