It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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