Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
